I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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