and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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