Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Congratulations! We have a period
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
