What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
