She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
