But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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