i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
