how hairy? two words: wookie tits
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize