my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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