You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
