What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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