fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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