In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
