i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
