will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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