Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
