There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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