Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
