So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
