just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
