i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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