I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You are a genius and a whore.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize