the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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