theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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