please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
