there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
