i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
