It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize