Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
