the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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