is your mom at the bar?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
