that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
