Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Your penis caused this!
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