What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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