I wish my penis had an off switch
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize