What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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