i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
