There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
