I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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