I wish i was in the wii world.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My life is pants optional.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
