those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
