is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
