things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
