haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
