Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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