Just cropdusted the office
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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