sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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