I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
