Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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