my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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