holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Less talking, more tequila
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
