Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
