how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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