your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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