I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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