OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
