My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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