just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
