oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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