the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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