In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
