Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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