I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
