Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize