I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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