actually, I'm a sock model
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
