If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
