Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
