Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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