I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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