There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
