So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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