I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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