Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Randomize
