Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
