Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
