SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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