Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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