why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
