it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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