May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
