big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i've created a new STD.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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